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The 'Joys' of Working from Home


KODE's Dan Mallerman is cheekily looking for advice on the toxic environment created by his 'housemates'

The 'Joys' of Working from Home

I have recently discovered that two of my housemates, whom I have some affection for, have taken it upon themselves to create a toxic environment and I’m stuck as to my approach to resolve the discourse.

I made the mistake of walking into the kitchen on Monday morning to be greeted by one of the them, the elder one, who had taken on the persona of a belligerent drunk intentionally failing to hear practically anything I said, except for a few words here and there, and then delighting in correcting me for the most minor of mistake – yes, I now understand a chair and a stall are barely the same thing at all. Whilst her overall demeanour remains outwardly pleasant, and her laugh infectious, this current character trait has me puzzled. 

The other housemate had become a gibbering wreck hellbent on causing untold damage, both to his surroundings and himself. The kind of person that on a night out you know, you just know, that they’ll turn from joyous, giggling companion into a dribbling, emotional wreck incapable of words, merely pointing at what it desires – that, mate, is dog food – for example. The tears and laughter both fighting for supremacy. And, of course, the sudden inability to adhere to toilet protocol. 

Add into this a third so utterly consumed by their own stomach that I had to eat in different rooms in case they seize on the merest of morsal.

The combination of both has made WFH a near impossibility, where I had fully intended to be for two days of the week. 

The first of my housemates I have long been living with, and have, up until recently enjoyed one of the all-time great relationships of my life. The second, a more recent addition has certainly challenged the equilibrium, to the extent I feel like I have failed both and compromised my ability to work.

I should add that my housemates are a four-year-old girl, named Eve and an eleven-month-old boy named Shay. The third, Tyson, is a dog.

Anyway, whilst the above might well be an attempt at some dubious humour, I have discovered a creeping sense of guilt that, having been so present throughout those Covid days, I am less so now and that feels somehow wrong. Am I now being less of a dad? Not only to Eve but has Shay been deprived time which Eve and I were able to enjoy?

Combined with the increasing pressures of succeeding as a company, and all that that brings, there hasn’t been a time I where I have felt quite so absent and yet totally immersed in the two main elements of life, children and work than I do now. I should add that both give me untold pleasure, this is not a call for help, more an opportunity to voice.

I suppose what I am asking for is the number of a really good babysitter.

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Kode, Tue, 28 Mar 2023 12:44:00 GMT