The emPOWER Breakfast on Self-Awareness Around Triggers and Importance of Anonymity

At The emPOWER Breakfast, conversations about emotional wellbeing often start with the ambition to create openness around experiences that have caused pain, suffering, or mental health challenges…. But, as our resident psychotherapeutic counsellor Zoe Bell Burnay reminds us, for some people, that openness can feel impossibly out of reach, not because they don’t want to heal, but because they may not even realise what’s beneath the surface.

“The coping mechanisms people employ around trauma may mean they are not even aware of it at all. It might be buried so deep that they can’t access the root cause of their pain.” said Zoe Bell Burnay.

For these individuals, attending an event, hearing a talk, or even being in a certain environment might stir emotions, but they may not connect those feelings to their history. The disconnection can make symptoms like anxiety, low mood, or self-critical thoughts feel like they’ve come from nowhere. During conversations with Zoe, it became really clear that emPOWER needed to telegraph this fact. Not for the fear factor but as a reinforcement to our responsibility to self-awareness, empathy and self-care.

In her new partnership with emPOWER, Zoe is also clear about one key point… anonymity matters. Many clients feel safer starting their therapeutic journey “under the radar” without public recognition or even acknowledgment of the issues they’re facing. Zoe respects this fully, offering a space where privacy is paramount. While she brings with her a deep understanding of the advertising and creative industries, having been a TV Producer and Head of TV at agencies like Mother and Saatchi & Saatchi, she is also really mindful that her prior professional profile never overshadows the client’s privacy. Confidentiality is sacrosanct and the vigour and focus that Zoe takes her code of ethics on board is in total alignment with emPOWER values.

For Zoe, it’s about striking a delicate balance and while we introduced her to the emPOWER community, there were some points she wanted to lay out from the get-go. One of those was that she is available to the community without becoming a figure of authority, this point is really important and key because Zoe believes in meeting you where you are, holding space and working with what you bring to the sessions. This kind of approach empowers each client to be the sovereign self-healer that they are, gently facilitating theopportunity for a breakthrough. While she is perfectly placed to bring empathy and intimate understanding of high-pressure environments, she will bring that without making the therapy feel exposed, always putting the client’s (your) comfort first.

Zoe works as a pluralistic psychotherapeutic counsellor, and when we asked what that meant she explained beautifully. It means she adapts her approach to suit each client’s needs, drawing from a person-centred, psychodynamic approach and incorporating cognitive behavioural therapies (CBT) – allowing her to adapt to you as the focus develops and changes, and again ultimately to work at your pace.

What emPOWER were really keen to discuss with Zoe, was while some of the topics covered andn the learnings and empathy building in the sessions, in our minds are the gold of the soul, we are also keen to highlight that buried trauma can be activated and as such we have a duty of care to flag this. From this perspective, here are five signs you might be experiencing a trauma response, even if you don’t consciously connect it to a past event:

• Sudden mood shifts – Feeling low, irritable, or anxious without a clear cause.
• Physical sensations – Tightness in the chest, nausea, or sudden fatigue in certain situations.
• Avoidance behaviours – Steering clear of places, people, or conversations without fully knowing why.
• Intrusive thoughts or memories – Flashes of images or feelings that feel out of context.
• Feeling disconnected – A sense of detachment from yourself or your surroundings.

If any of these feel familiar, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to dive into the full story immediately. It’s about starting where you are, with whatever you can bring in the moment. Also to note number four in that list happened to Athene while recently researching for her interview with Perry Power – possibly the biggest topic so far to trigger negative emotions and you can hear more of that when you tune in to Perry’s episode of the emPOWER Podcast. She found herself having visceral memories of a particularly safe environment (the kitchen at her Nan’s house) which really took her by surprise in the detail, so when Zoe flagged this as something we should be mindful of, Athene was fully on board with this new experience.

While Zoe’s role is relatively new, she has a history of balancing a high-pressure career with her own lived experience of trauma. She struggled with her own mental health and eventually sought help when it became too much to endure. She says it was an incredibly painful journey, but reaching the other side opened the door to a fuller and more meaningful life. So impactful was this work, she became more curious about how she might be able to support others. This led to studying and achieving the required clinical hours to qualify and is now practising within the charity sector as well as her own private practice.

At emPOWER, Zoe is here to support the community discreetly, compassionately, and with the depth of someone who truly understands both the industry and the emotional cost of working in it. Zoe’s private practice is based in Norwich along with the charities she works with, and she offers in-person and online support, and has very generously gifted emPOWER members a 10% discount, so you can book using the code emPOWZO10!

Zoe also offers a free 30-minute initial chat to explore working together, as the therapeutic relationship is key to successful work together. There is no commitment at this stage, so it is an opportunity to meet online, to dip your toe in the water.

London emPOWER in-person dates are TBC in line with demand, so watch this space, and in the meantime, you can schedule sessions either virtually online, via a screen call, or a perfectly respectable old school phone call. You can book her here.

Don't forget to use the code emPOWZO10!

To hear more from Zoe we wanted to ask her a few questions as we embark on this journey together, so read on to gain more insight.

Q> For someone who doesn’t recognise their own trauma, what’s the first step toward self-awareness?

Zoe> The word trauma in itself can feel so big that you can’t relate to it. It doesn’t belong to you. You have distracted or dissociated from it, so you may minimise your own experience. However, as Freud suggested, suppressed emotions don’t disappear, but instead manifest in problematic ways later in life.

So, the first steps would be to get curious about present day experiences. Maybe you are feeling anxious, unable to focus, drained, or over reactive. It could be behaviours that are holding you back. Or certain situations or individuals who have an adverse effect on you. Anything you notice that is getting in the way of your mental wellbeing or causing you pain and dissatisfaction with your life.

Then to gently reflect on where this could be coming from, and the likelihood will be a past influence. This may be the point where you want the safety and security of therapy to explore these present feelings and where they may have come from, to begin the journey to recovery.

Q> What misconceptions do people have about therapy and trauma?

Zoe> The word trauma has taken on various guises. Right now, it is used in everyday language for the slightest inconvenience. This trivialises the true meaning in therapy of trauma. Trauma isn’t just the event itself, it’s the lasting impact it has on your mind and body, how your nervous system responds to something that may have felt threatening or too much to process at the time.

Conversely, and when thinking about ourselves, it can be perceived that trauma only means big and dramatic events that are extreme, like war, assault, or being witness to something horrific. If someone can’t remember something clearly then they will deny this as their trauma, yet this has been stored in their body and nervous system even if the memory is unclear. So, you can feel the effects without having the whole story.

Comparing our own trauma to someone else’s trauma, can also be a barrier to seeking help. Believing that our story is not big enough, so it doesn’t count.

Misconceptions around therapy can be simply the perception that you are indulging in talking about your problems (and again, others have it far worse, creeps in). Or that if you do start talking about it you will unravel out of control. A feeling that you should be able to handle this on your own. And yet all of these can be discounted with a little understanding of what trauma, and specifically meeting it in therapy, truly looks like. Trauma therapy is safe and is paced to meet you where you are.

With the right therapy you will be kept grounded by your therapist, ensuring your emotions are regulated. Recognising that therapy is there to help you change your relationship with what has happened to you so that you can lead a more fulfilled life. Your present and future are no longer being controlled by your past. Healing in the care of an empathetic human, in a safe space, at your pace, is hard to convey the power of it, you need to experience it for yourself, when you are ready, and with the right person who you feel trust and comfort with.

Q> How can we create safe spaces in professional settings without forcing disclosure?

Zoe> Key to the person-centred approach is to show clients that they are respected for whatever they choose to share or not. Active listening, being present in the moment and allowing them to set the pace, naturally creates a safe space. The core conditions of person-centred therapy are empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence which supports a client to disclose from their own readiness without pressure.

Q> What excites you most about becoming emPOWER’s resident psychotherapist?

Zoe> What excites me most about becoming emPOWER’s resident psychotherapist is the opportunity to be a consistent, trusted presence within a community that values empowerment and growth.

I’m passionate about making therapy accessible and meeting people where they are, both emotionally and practically. Being embedded in emPOWER means I can build long-term relationships, provide continuity of care, and support clients as they move through their own journeys of self-discovery and resilience.

I’m drawn to emPOWER’s mission, driven by vulnerability and real-life experiences, which aligns closely with my pluralistic, trauma-informed approach. I believe in working collaboratively, adapting to the unique needs of each individual, and creating a space where all parts of them can be heard and valued.

I’m also excited about the opportunity to collaborate with Athene and other emPOWER practitioners, sharing ideas, learning from different perspectives, and contributing to a holistic approach to wellbeing.

Q> Anonymity is such a key consideration for you in this work. Tell us why?

Zoe> Anonymity is so important in therapy because it gives people the freedom and safety to be completely honest, without the familiar fear of judgment, shame, or concerns of consequences in their personal or professional lives.

Q> Did your experiences in TV and advertising influence the way you approach therapy?

Zoe> That’s such a good question! How long have you got?

In short, my experiences have absolutely shaped the work I do today. Empathy is about being able to walk in someone else’s shoes, and the breadth, and sometimes the cost of my own experiences mean I can walk in a wide range of shoes. I wore an elaborate mask throughout my career, at times at the cost of my mental wellbeing, and with a huge amount of self-reflection I realised how much we mask for the world. So, my work is to help clients lower the mask to meet their authentic selves with compassion and curiosity.

Q> How did your own mental wellness journey shape your decision to retrain?

Zoe> My mental wellness journey was both painful and transformative. I experienced firsthand how life-changing it can be to feel truly seen and supported. That experience gave me not just empathy, but a deep calling to help others find their way through, so retraining as a therapist felt like the most natural next chapter.

Q> What were the pivotal moments in your path to wellbeing?

Zoe> Recognising the need for support (unfortunately it became essential). Facing the difficult emotions and allowing them the space (painful but a relief at the same time). Self-awareness breakthroughs ,identifying behaviours, coping mechanisms, patterns (fascinating and made me more curious to learn more). Making considered changes, like setting boundaries, finding healthier coping strategies (didn’t feel like I would sustain these changes, but I did because they made a huge difference almost instantly). Vivid moments of clarity, all of a sudden seeing something quite differently, understanding myself better and letting go of learnt behaviours, old narratives (a huge relief, exciting breakthrough, huzzah!). Self-care and compassion, understanding the importance of this and finding ways to blend it into my life, with simple restructuring and prioritising myself when I had put myself low down the list (this came more easily than I had imagined, by this point I really needed it,and I instantly saw the benefits).

A windy, steep, rocky path but one so worth travelling!

Q> Why might someone in the creative industries benefit from a therapist (especially one who understands the environment?)

Zoe> Creative industries are a wonderful business to be in, to pursue a career that gives you some freedom and scope to realise ideas, and I personally feel very lucky to have been a part of it. But it can also be incredibly demanding, pressurised, unpredictable, competitive and at times quite brutal. It’s a culture of long hours, high expectations, constant performance and sadly can encourage and turn a blind eye to unreasonable behaviour by some. It can be a bit wild west compared to other industries. All of which can take its toll on mental health.

A therapist who understands that world can cut through the need for the client to‘explain’ it, and offer a space where clients feel seen, validated, and supported in their ambition, creativity and their wellbeing.

Q> What does kindness mean in the context of therapy?

I think it is very much part of the humanistic approach. (Person-centred). Seeing the client as a full human being, not a ‘patient’ who needs curing. It’s about compassion, care, putting their needs first, holding their hand and being beside them on their journey. And offering a commitment to their long-term growth and fulfilling their potential.

If you could give one message to someone hesitant about seeking help, what would it be?
You don’t have to be in crisis to engage with support. Even if everything seems ok, it’s worth exploring why it doesn’t feel right. If you leave these ‘off’ feelings unattended then they can fester, grow and cause more havoc.

The smallest step towards understanding yourself can make a really big difference. There are many epiphany moments, and they are a privilege to be a part of. Self-disclosure, I only sought help when I was in crisis. Believe me, It’s a much harder place to come back from, than it is to get to. So,to catch yourself when things don’t feel right, understand yourself, and what works and doesn’t work for you is where therapy can play its most powerful part.

I would say if you are thinking about it, then give it a try. There really is nothing to lose. You will always be put back together at the end of each session, and nothing happens in that room that you are not custodian of. The journey is fascinating, the spoils it offers abundant, so whatever is holding you back is getting in the way of you feeling free and energised. This is my personal experience and the wonderful change I have seen in others.

Zoe joins a growing roster of practitioners both ex industry and currently still working within, who will be available for classes, 1-1 and courses.

Bella Clark (ex-co-founder of Red Management) who is emPOWER’s resident Pranic Healer. This is an incredible modality designed to teach you how to manage your energy when you book onto one of Bella’s courses.

Katie Reynolds who is new Business for You Are Here but is also a trained yoga teacher with her own community 'Yoga Mama and Birth', and is committed to bringing nervous system regulation to her clients. We will be hosting in person classes - Dates coming soon.

Mays Al Ali - (ex-TV Producer) now holistic nutritionist available to work with you on your inside out health 1-1 and on emPOWER workshops and retreats. Dates TBC.

More Practitioners and more Info coming soon.

Team emPOWER.