Wacoms and Nappies: Lessons Learnt from VFX (And How They Made Me a Better Mum)

I have imposter syndrome. Each. And. Every. Day. About work. About being a Mother. 

I thought being surrounded by women as I entered motherhood would serve as encouragement, but it only propelled me deeper into the pits of self-deprecation. All the other mums I saw seemed so confident. And there I was: so full of doubt. How, without former experience, was I trusted to look after this tiny, precious little thing? Like many women, these elements of self-doubt originated in my early career. They’re tied as tightly to my professional life as they are my personal. But it’s not all bad news. There have been lessons learnt along the way. But there are also lessons to teach.

“And here are the all-male nominees”, declared Natalie Portman at the 2018 Oscars. It’s not just Natalie, though. The World Economic Forum estimates that it will take until 2158 to achieve gender parity. This year’s IWD theme, ‘Accelerate Action’, touches on that, referring to gender bias and systemic barriers that prevent women reaching their full potential. You don’t get too many women in creative roles in visual effects. Much less in Supervisor roles. Coming from Spain and rising up through the ranks in London’s ad scene, I can count only one female 2D Lead (later turned Supervisor) that inspired me. But this isn’t really about me. This is about our children, and how our learnings from the classrooms of advertising might enrich them.

Ask any of your adland colleagues: the chances are they all had a creative itch from a young age. The chances are, also - that they didn’t know this subconscious creativity would lead them to make adverts. But, in a roundabout way, there’s probably a link. Tenuous, perhaps, but a link nonetheless. As a child, I scratched the itch by drawing, painting and clay modelling. My teenage years saw me progress to a WFH makeup artist (that phase was shortlived) and I also - slightly oddly - spent my summers watching award-winning ad marathons. A Canal+ yearly special featuring Super Bowl, Cannes and El Sol winners.

The latter seems slightly vocational, in hindsight at least. As for the watercolours and HB pencils, there was no subconscious voice guiding me towards visual effects in the years that followed. I don’t sit there and talk to my son about nodes and compositing. But I do encourage his creative side in the hopes it’ll open doors for him down the line. We’ve recently graduated into papier mâché animals….  But a lot of young people still don’t even know about our industry. I didn’t know about our industry, until I landed upon it by accident. My Mum was terrified - she recommended I think twice, become a teacher like so many of my friends. If only my own teachers had enlightened us to the career prospect of visual effects, it might have relieved her of some of that stress.

We can always do more, of course, but there are positive movements in this area. Internships and talks at schools from artists and producers educate children about the industry’s existence, whilst advertisers accept a moral duty to craft authentic content which resonates with the great British public more than ever. In recent years, we’ve seen authenticity embraced throughout the filmmaking process. Take Bodyform, for example. A period-centric marketer, crafting work through largely female-identifying teams. And rightly so - using customers as creators eliminates any doubt and the campaigns have gone on to be hugely successful. It does, however, remain important that gender doesn’t pigeonhole us. Our voices need to be heard across all sectors of advertising. Cars, sports, beverages - the lot. I hope my son will experience working in teams of people from all backgrounds, and will embrace ideas regardless of gender, ethnicity or background.

Motherhood has made me who I am. But it is directly linked to gender bias, particularly in the workplace. Some miss out on promotions due to maternity leave. Others can’t afford to have children as promotions are fewer. Often women leave working life completely to raise their family. And then there’s the mum guilt on top… I’m in a privileged position where I can work, and my maternity didn’t negatively impact my career progression. I’m even more privileged to (hopefully) inspire my son that dedication and enthusiasm in the workplace can get you a long way. But as women, we need to push harder. We can’t wait to be seen. We must voice our inquisitiveness, ask for guidance, and push for what we think we deserve. At work, and at home.

After all, the odds may be against us, but I personally don’t want to wait 133 years for gender parity. I want my son to witness it in his lifetime.