Radio LBB: Not Another Bloody Christmas Song with Toby Hemming

I’ve got a love/hate thing with Christmas – though, if I’m honest, it’s mostly a love of talking about hating it. One of the most genuinely soul-crushing parts of the festive season is the complete lack of critical thought the world has when it comes to Christmas music.

Normally sane people, who’d cross the street to avoid even the faintest whisper of an Ed Sheeran ballad, suddenly think it’s OK to blast Shakin’ Stevens and Mariah Carey for weeks on end. On repeat.

Now, before you start calling out, "humbug!", let me just say: I’m not completely heartless. 'Last Christmas' is an absolute gem in George Michael’s catalogue, and if you don’t get a little choked up listening to 'Fairytale of New York', you might just have a heart made of concrete.

But the rest of it? No. The tinny piped version of 'Jingle Bells' blaring through department store speakers with Guantanamo Bay-style levels of aural irritation. Or worse, the pub playlist that forces clerical staff to sweat through bauble-themed polyester shirts to an endless loop of Slade’s 'Merry Xmas Everybody.' 

And let’s not forget that as well as being musically bankrupt, the great Christmas songbook is not particularly representative: shiny straight white boys and girls doing what shiny straight white boys and girls do best. No thanks.

So, I’ve had enough. Here's my alternative, less 'festive’ playlist.

Go on, enjoy it. I dare you.