Philadelphia Creates (Probably) the World’s Hottest Cream Cheese for Friday the 13th

This Friday the 13th, Philadelphia Cream Cheese is unleashing the blazing spiciness of hell with its new limited-edition creation, ‘A Little Taste Of Hell’. The fiery Philly is a total flip on the angelic brand Canadians have known for decades as the little taste of heaven, doing away with the beloved Philly angel’s halo for a new pair of devil horns.

Measured at 1,041,427 scoville heat units, the cream cheese is 208x hotter than jalapeños, packing the spicy punch of hell itself. For a sense of just how hot that is, the cream cheese has already taken its toll on some unlucky Canadians who can be seen coughing, cussing, gagging, sweating, shaking and even crying just moments after trying it.

Lucky, or unlucky, Canadians will have a chance to get themselves an ominous all-black kit on Uber Eats for the very fitting price of $6.66. The kit includes a caution-taped sample of the cream cheese, a waiver that warns against tears and cries for mummy, and a pair of gloves for safe smearing. 

The kits will be made available starting at 3PM in Toronto for the time being, but for those in Canada or the U.S. who want to get their hands on it next can visit Philadelphia Cream Cheese Canada on social media. Who knows, maybe the gates of hell will be opened in your hometown next.