My Biggest Lesson: Angie Melgar

Angie Melgar, is associate creative director at The Variable. She is a designer, art director, and chocolate chip cookie connoisseur.

I grew up with a worn-down 64-pack of crayons and a goal of going to med school.  

I grew up the daughter of immigrants and a fanatic of American sitcoms. 

I grew up internally battling English and Spanish adjectives, overthinking which one comes first in which language.

I grew up thinking about what is right and wrong (or is it left?). 

You could say I grew up constantly confused.

Like many first-generation Americans, I have always felt a little out of place debating whether I fit in one culture more than the other. This feeling also crept into my decisions about what I would be when I grew up. My parents worked long hours to make 'the American dream' a reality, and I always felt the need to pay it back to them one day - to buy them the big house and let them hire a maid instead of my mom being the maid for others. So even though I had a strong passion for art as a kid, it always felt like that career belonged to the 'others.' I had to do something practical, not fun, that would support my family and me – not because they asked me to, but because I wanted to. 

Throughout childhood and into high school, I painted, crafted, made things up, and did anything that would let me pursue my interest in art while still attempting to be a perfectionist and accomplish every academic achievement I set. When it came time to make the Big College Decision, I decided to pursue a Psychology degree with a concentration in medicine. My left hemisphere was satisfied; my right, silenced. 

Now, let’s fast-forward to one Physics class that nearly broke me and the only 'C' grade I ever received on a report card – that’s when I decided this was not working.

My amazing family reminded me that, no, I don't have to be a doctor. I could be whatever I wanted, so long as it supported the life I wanted to live. 

I decided to take a sharp left into the art department three years after I snubbed it. I had a lot to catch up on, starting with the basics: Design and Art Principles 101. 

So there I am, a college junior pursuing a degree and, hopefully, a career in a professional environment that I know very little about. Suddenly, I needed to buy three erasers and learn the differences between charcoal blacks – who knew there was more than one?! 

My first assignment was to make use of these new tools by 'drawing circles and shading them from light to dark.' The professor showed the class some examples and told us to do it in 'our own way.' This is where things got interesting. 

The instructions couldn’t be that simple, could they? (Yes, they were). 

The professor was actually initiating some secret challenge to push us to become true artists - you know, the kind of artists known for spending hours under a wet plaster ceiling or the ones that cut off their ears? (No, not at all).

Everyone must be judging me, right? (No, again). 

I spent a whole weekend wracking my brain on how to complete this assignment - trying to decipher every word in both English and Spanish and figure out if I had somehow misinterpreted it. Come Monday, well, my results sure were my own. 

The professor took one look at it and thanked me for the 'individuality' and 'perspective' I brought to the assignment. My cheeks turned red, I had the sudden urge to run away, and I just felt so left out. It made me doubt whether I could ever get this whole art thing right. 

If only I could sketch right.

If only I could interpret it right. 

If only I could think right.

If only I could do anything right.

But here’s the thing, after realising I was not actually burning alive under a spotlight, I understood that my professor was being genuine. She was a little surprised, sure. But more than anything, it was an unexpected way of solving the task - not a wrong or right way, as I had thought.  

So here’s the lesson: There are more than two sides to everything.

I am 100 percent Salvadoran and 100 percent American.

I am 100 percent right brain and 100 percent left brain. 

I am 100 this and 100 percent that. 

I am the two hundred percent. 

Be two hundred percent in. 

(Left: Psychology-major Angie presenting a research paper. Right: Design Comm-major Angie taking her first self-portrait.)