Paying the Motherhood Penalty

In the UK, 77% of working mothers aren’t given an equal chance to grow their careers and feel forced to leave the workplace each year [1]. From feeling burnt out to unaffordable childcare, disadvantages in pay, perceived competence, normative discrimination, lack of flexibility, the list goes on... This is the Motherhood penalty. So, how do we stop motherhood becoming the kiss of death for a promising career? 

As a first-time mum, the thought of returning to work was filled with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. The excitement came from being able to interact with my colleagues once again and getting back on track towards achieving my career goals. After reading various forums and speaking to other mums about their not so positive experience returning to work, the anxiety kicked in. I felt the pressure to quickly bounce back and come back stronger to prove my value after being away for almost a year. I became concerned about whether I’d be able to show up equally as well as at home and at work. I worried about the things I’d would miss out on because of work or home life. It almost seemed like the two couldn’t coexist. 

Overwhelmed with the negatives, I found myself frantically searching for more positive stories about how successful working mothers actually make it work. It's important that we have these conversations not only to give new working parents hope, but to also use it as case studies on how employers can get it right. At a recent event, hosted by Wavemaker Family and Women at Wavemaker, six inspiring female leaders unpacked what employers can do to support working mothers. The panel was hosted by Nathalie Moruzzi, Global Platform Content Director, and co-lead Wavemaker Family. Panellists included Katy Fridman, Founder of Flexible Working People, Michelle Kennedy, Founder and CEO of Peanut, Sarah Cumming, VP Enterprise Strategy & Digital Transformation at Danone UK & Ireland, Takako Elliot, Co-founder of &Beyond, and Katie Lee, COO, Wavemaker UK.  

These were the key takeaways:

Understand and normalise the role of working parents. 

Traditionally, in many workplaces, the conversation around starting a family has been difficult to have openly, with many women stating that they have no choice but to be secretive, to protect their career. From comments on whether a woman should be promoted if she is due to go on maternity leave or being penalised for not displaying intense commitment to their job on return (normative discrimination). There has long been a perception that working mothers are less capable than their male or non-parent colleagues. This often, along with many other factors, leads to a need in working mothers to overcompensate for other people’s negative perception, ultimately leading to burn out. 

Understanding and normalising the role of working parents is vital for them to thrive in the workplace. With the burden of care still falling heavily on women, there needs to be a cultural change. In the workplace this comes from senior leadership (both male and female) and behavioural modelling. Taking parental leave and setting the precedent of a healthy work/life balance all helps to rebalance the perceived duty of care that mothers are labelled with. This includes being transparent about having to leave work early to collect a child or attend a parents evening or school play. All parents have a juggle to manage, some more than others, where they may not have a partner to provide additional support. Leading by example empowers working parents to feel they can excel at work and be a great parent too.  

Flexibility is key. 

According to a 2021 OECD study, the Motherhood Penalty accounted for 60% of the gender pay gap across 25 European countries [2]. “Flexibility is paramount to closing the gender pay gap. It’s one of the biggest drivers along with better childcare,” says Katy Fridman, founder of Flexible Working People. When we talk about flexible working there’s often misconceptions about what it actually means. It’s more than part-time work and finishing early, there’s a broader spectrum of flexibility. We must create a culture where trust is one of the main focal points. Changing our mentality and focusing on the deliverables of the job, and what outputs are needed to make the business successful, rather than the number of hours people are working and where they’re sitting will help to remove the stigma around flexible working. It’s imperative for us to have a top-down approach, where every manager is singing from the same hymn sheet instead of having different rules for different people. We need to be big on culture. Live it, breathe it and believe it. 

Managing guilt and avoiding burn out.

The transition from mother to working parent is huge. Prior to the time taken out to raise a baby, for many women their career was of paramount importance. For most coming back to work the sentiment is the same, it’s taken a lot of energy emotionally and mentally to be there and the never-ending-to-do-list is eternally growing. A re-contracting of this load between working mums (or dads) and those who support them, is a step to lighten the load and avoid burn out. Michelle Kennedy, Founder and CEO of Peanut shared a helpful analogy: “some [of the balls parents juggle] are glass and some of them are plastic, it’s ok to drop the plastic ones. They’re the ones we impose on ourselves as being important, but you can never drop the glass ones”. 

Although, it can be daunting, we must be the drivers of our own lives and careers. Whether that is reassigning traditional gender roles in the home or being transparent with managers about what’s going on at home and the amount we’re able to process at work. 

"We pride ourselves at Wavemaker on challenging the status quo and positively provoking growth for our clients; it forms part of our DNA and is an attitude we embrace across everything we do including our Family community. The Motherhood Penalty panel is just the beginning of our focus on this critical topic, we are actively pursuing solutions that will ease the pressures on working parents, help them thrive both at work as well as at home, and support them in fearlessly growing their careers at Wavemaker.” – Alice Hennessy, global partnership lead, founder and co-lead of the Family Community

With thanks to the event organisers Alice Hennessy, global partnership lead, founder and co-lead of the Family Community, Wavemaker and Nathalie Moruzzi, global platform content director and co-lead Wavemaker Family.