Motherland in Adland: Mothers in Advertising Speak Up
“Motherhood isn’t a limitation. It’s a foundation, a training ground, and a path to better and more empathetic leadership.”
This is what founder and creative executive producer at NERD Productions, Milana Karaica, told us when we first started shaping the idea for this series.
Countless industry panels and talks dare to lift the veil of unspoken shame and controversy when it comes to becoming a mother in the advertising and production industries – or, really, in most industries. Yet, the stigma persists, and action is minimal. So, when Milana reached out to LBB with her idea, we knew it was time to carve out space for this discussion..
Pressure on women comes from all sides – wanting to be a mother is wrong, because you are not career-oriented enough; not wanting to be a mother is wrong too, because you aren’t fulfilling your ‘nature-given purpose’; wanting both, or neither, is somehow wrong too. It’s a tale as old as time.
In advertising and production, motherhood is treated as a hurdle, not an asset – choosing between a thriving career and a fulfilling family life is something countless women face, in silence. And even after the choice is made, the repercussions are life-long, and often tied with varying degrees of guilt and shame.
This is why, for International Women’s Month, and beyond, LBB’s Zoe Antonov and NERD’s Milana are launching ‘Motherland in Adland’. Through Milana’s story – and those of other incredible mothers – we’ll shine a light on the realities of balancing leadership with parenthood.
From challenges to triumphs, this series is about breaking a narrative – motherhood is not a ‘career break’. It builds stronger, more empathetic leaders – and it’s time for the industry to stand behind them.
To kick off the series, here is Milana’s story.
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I started in this industry very young – at the age of 17.
Through the early years of my career, it didn’t matter to me that I didn’t see women and people like myself around me, as actually, I never really had before either.
Taking inspiration from wherever I could, I excelled in my roles and made my way to executive producer. There were bumps in the road of that journey that were not easy to overcome but when failure is not something you allow yourself to accept, you keep pushing harder with each setback.
It wasn’t until I was in my early thirties – by which point I was running NERD Productions, a creative production company bringing diverse talent to our industry – that I started to feel extremely lonely as a female in a leadership role. NERD was my first baby, my family, and my passion, but I wanted a family at home too. Having always been a nurturer, the one that sees the potential in others and helps them realise that too, I felt that I had what it takes to be a great mother.
However, I had never really come across many women that were in senior positions and had children. It dawned on me that I didn’t know a single one that was running their own production company or agency. That scared me.
Our industry is so competitive and male dominated, that you can’t afford to ever be half a step behind. Aside from running successful productions, so much of it all is run on networking. The lunches, dinners and endless drinking, going out and entertaining. As long as you can keep up with that, you are ok. But how do you do all of that when you have your babies that need your time, love and affection. What do you do when you have an important meeting booked in for months and months and then your baby gets sick on that very day and simply wants to fall asleep in the comfort of mummy’s warm hugs? Do you cancel the meeting that could potentially change a young director’s career path, or tend to your cherished little treasure that can’t understand why you can’t simply just be there?
Women that decided to have kids were and still are often referred to as ‘taking a break to have a baby’. But we know what happens to women in our industry that took that break.
They never came back or were slowly pushed out due to lack of flexibility in their roles. Over 55% of women who had taken parental leave in the last five years believe that choosing to do so damaged their careers. Where do we go from that? This is why we are starting this series. To highlight all those incredible women who are somehow doing it all.
From Guilt to Pride
I did what I do best – kept calm and carried on.
But this is where things get unbearably hard. Everything practical – juggling appointments, sickness, no sleep or time to eat – I could deal with, but there was one thing that I didn’t account for. The guilt. The kind of guilt you can’t imagine. The volume of it is so high, that sometimes you feel like you could drown in it with every breath.
I worked until my contractions were five minutes apart. And handed over my notes to one of our senior producers, ahead of rushing to the hospital to deliver my first baby.
After one long weekend, I was back to work. With my second baby, due to health complications we had a C section and I was back to work three days after.
In an attempt to be a full-time mother and a full-time CEO, I have breastfed my babies with my camera off on endless Zoom meetings. Feeling guilty that I have to hand them over to their dad as soon as they finish, so I can get back to supporting my team and then feeling guilty some more, that I may have not paid enough attention to every word uttered in that meeting.
In an attempt to support my team's career goals, I sat on a flight for six hours, while my two-year-old was at home, not responding to medication. Being told that he stood in front of our photo attached to the fridge crying and begging daddy to tell mummy to come home killed me inside. On the other hand, I felt guilty that I had to dash back from a big production and leave my team on their own.
I missed my daughter’s first parents evening as I was running late on set – a moment in life I will never get back, but I helped a struggling director capture that one shot he really wanted that day! A sense of achievement with a dash of guilt in my stomach for not being the mum I wanted to be that day.
My son came home from nursery, running through the door to show me the card he had made me for Valentine’s Day and I had to almost edge him out of my screen and keep a straight face as I muttered that I will see it in just three minutes.
Feeling guilty for not cooking a fresh meal on a busy work day, feeling guilty for not attending a work trip… Guilt became the air I breathe.
Even with the most empowering and supportive partner, endlessly helpful family and friends, there is always something to feel guilty about because you can always do more. After all, you are the woman that wanted it all. You could just choose a career, or family, like everyone else and not struggle.
The flipside? You can carry on like this for so long before you notice your male peers not feeling guilty for taking work trips, for taking on more work, for progressing in their career and for going to a drink after work at the expense of not spending every waking hour with their little kids, or fulfilling their every emotional need.
They are okay to be more than a dad so why don’t we ever take a leaf out of their book?
We think and we are told that women are the issue, as we have this self-imposed guilt for wanting it all. But why is wanting a career and a family seen as wanting it all and why should we not want it? Why are we judged so harshly for choosing to have a career or for staying at home?
This is why now, I refuse to allow guilt to rule my life and my choices.
I worked incredibly hard to reach this point in my career and I enjoy my job endlessly.
Growing NERD from nothing to being here ten years later and representing incredible talent, crafting with people I love and respect, supporting each other in every milestone, including family life has not come easy and with no effort.
On the other hand, my children are my world and the centre of my universe. Nothing can compare to the love we share and the happiness they bring me with every little cuddle and every little smile they unselfishly and genuinely give. This is not having it all – it is making the most of life and the endless opportunity in it.
I refuse to suppress the sense of pride I get out of being able to set this example for my children.
Since becoming a mother, there is no force that I would not be willing to stand up against. So, in a way, it has allowed me to improve all of my skillset – patience, resilience, problem solving and the unwavering ability to show up, no matter what.
This is why mothers are so vital to each team and each company. They will be there first, support your cause, understand, give, champion and work harder! Sure, they need to leave for the school pick up, or take a day when their child is sick, but they will be back online later doing way more than reasonable and enjoying it too!
It was the pandemic too, that gave us the opportunity to go from denying that life outside of work exists, to acknowledging that we all have responsibility for other, little lives.
Had it not been for covid, my career, like many others, would undoubtedly have taken a few steps back after having kids. Now, I have even taken my kids to shoots and work trips. Clients seem to accept that you need to pop home and do family stuff before you come back and take them to dinner and post-shoot drinks.
The tiredness after all of these intertwined activities is undeniable. But after a long day, when you finally lay yourself to bed at night and close your eyes – you did do it all girl!
We are making progress. And I hope that in years to come, my daughter, and yours too, never have to shed a single lonely tear, if they choose to smash it in her career, and to be the kind of mummy that she wants to be too.
