How Do I Become What I Am? A Q&A with Director Wyatt Clough

Wyatt> In 2022, I think once the final limiters from the pandemic had been taken off and our industry started sprinting ahead to make up for lost time, a lot of folks suddenly felt overwhelmed by the intensity of everything. I definitely did and In that context, I started looking for something to get myself out of the meat grinder and do something completely free. A friend of mine sent me an artist residency in Tokyo, a city where I spent a lot of time before the borders closed. 

Once I started talking with the residency hosts, I explained to them that my video/directing work never really felt like an artistic practice, despite being part of a creative industry. It got me thinking, what did the people that I considered artists think was an artistic practice? What does that even mean? Is it something the artists of the world think about? Is it an attitude or is it the intention? We all have assumptions of how everyone else thinks about themselves but I decided I wanted to go and ask them myself.

Thus the documentary was born and I set out with my camera to set up shop in Tokyo. Fortunately a few artists responded to my raving emails and DMs. I would get to ask them how they viewed themselves as artists, or if they did, and the audience, including myself, would get to learn more about ourselves in the process.

Wyatt> I had many questions surrounding the amorphous idea we call art. The main thing I had felt basically my entire life of making stuff was that I was an imposter, about to be discovered at any moment. I don’t know why this feeling haunted me. It could have something to do with our entire childhood in the west being taught there’s a very specific way to succeed or live a life. Shaking these rigid social structures is extremely difficult. 

I have no formal training in photography or directing or cinematography so when someone started paying me to do those things I was very confused. As if some expert was going to appear and reveal to everyone that I was just making it all up as I went. Like a physical manifestation of “art” or “professional-ism” would do a set review and declare in front of everyone that I was a con artist or something.

Talking to the artists I was curious if they had ever felt that way and how they dealt with it. It turns out this is an extremely common feeling amongst the creative.

Wyatt> I really love the way Matt dealt with his insecurities and just basically decided to stop wasting his own time and energy feeling bad about himself. I understand that’s not a luxury everyone can have (especially those of us with mental illnesses), but I appreciate it as a goal and a way of being. After talking with him I started second guessing why I was treating myself so badly and putting my own work down. Fuck that! I’m a director now. I’m changing and growing and trying new things all the time. That’s all part of life. I like making films like this or that so why should I feel bad about it.

Wyatt> Make more work for YOU. Especially when you start making a career out of filmmaking.

Wyatt> Staying focused on doc work can be tough, especially as an independent filmmaker. It’s a ton of emails and DMs that often go unanswered if you don’t have the backing of a big media outlet. That said, they can be the most fun because you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself, so you can take the project wherever it’s leading you. Maybe somewhere you didn’t expect at the beginning. That becomes its own source of inspiration. 

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