Bossing It: The Art of Negotiation with Brenda Kolb

As founder of TigerLily, Brenda has built a thriving creative + production studio that’s fiercely committed to its clients. A transformational leader who values building lifelong partnerships, Brenda inspires her team by empowering them to create. During her vast career, she has produced commercials, branded content, and feature films, drawing on her hands-on knowledge of production that allows her to deftly navigate complex projects with ease.

Brenda’s most personal work reflects her passion for developing and supporting content around women’s issues, social justice, and the environment. She has more than 20 years of experience executive producing and producing both narrative and documentary films, landing premieres on Showtime, as well as film festivals from Tribeca Festival to CineVegas. 

LBB> What was your first experience of leadership?

Brenda> I would have to say that my leadership experience started at home. I’m the oldest of four siblings who were raised by a single dad in the ‘80s, so there were many days when, at a very young age, I was left in charge. And once I got a taste for calling the shots, there was no turning back. 

LBB> How did you figure out what kind of leader you wanted to be – or what kind of leader you didn’t want to be?

Brenda> At the start of my career, I had the opportunity to work closely with a seasoned producer who taught me valuable insights about the intricacies of the business. Working alongside her was an incredible learning experience. She was exceptionally skilled and effective in how she managed projects and stayed ahead of problems. She also kept her sense of humour intact even in the most challenging times, which I found remarkable. 

Along the way, what I’ve learned and witnessed from others gave me a deeper understanding of the kind of leader I aspired to be, from the art of negotiation and how to strike the right balance, to making decisions based on different priorities and needs. A choice made more for financial gain, for example, might've robbed a project of the right creative execution. 

All so-called mistakes are valuable lessons and in watching these experiences play out, I was able to better understand my own leadership style and how I would handle these situations differently.

LBB> Did you know you always wanted to take on a leadership role? If so how did you work towards it and if not, when did you start realising that you had it in you?

Brenda> I always knew I would land in a leadership role. Let’s not forget that I am the oldest of four kids.

When I first got into the business, I was working as a PA. I didn’t know anything about the business or how roles worked. I was as green as they come. On my very first day on set, I was introduced to the producer and I was just in awe. Not only did she effortlessly communicate with the director, crew, and clients, but also, in most cases, no one made a move without her blessing. I just knew that was the job for me. 

From that moment on, I made it my goal and took every job and every assignment that would get me closer to achieving it. 

LBB> When it comes to 'leadership' as a skill, how much do you think is a natural part of personality, how much can be taught and learned?

Brenda> We all know that person who fits the term “born leader.” The one who seems to naturally embody qualities that make them effective in leadership roles. They exude confidence, possess charisma, and inspire others with their vision. 

However, I don’t think leadership is solely limited to those with innate abilities. There is ample room for learning and development through experience, self-improvement, and reflection. 

While some aspects of leadership may come more naturally to certain individuals, honing leadership skills can be achieved by actively seeking opportunities to lead, learning from successes and failures, and being open to feedback.

LBB> What are the aspects of leadership that you find most personally challenging? And how do you work through them?

Brenda> For me, so much of the challenge is finding the confidence to make the tough decisions, hone in on vision, and follow through without second-guessing myself.  

One thing I've come to realise is how crucial it is to believe in myself and trust my instincts. Confidence becomes like this rock that keeps you steady, especially when things get uncertain and tough. Making tough decisions is a lot easier when you trust yourself. So, above all, I've learned that having faith in my abilities and trusting the choices I make as a leader is absolutely vital.

LBB> Have you ever felt like you've failed whilst in charge? How did you address the issue and what did you learn from it?

Brenda> Oh my gosh, all the time! It’s a constant game of “what ifs” and “maybes.” If I had done X instead of Y, would the outcome have been different? 

What I've come to realise is that dwelling on the past doesn't change anything. Instead, I've learned to embrace failures as valuable learning experiences. It's important to take ownership of those mistakes and acknowledge them as part of my journey. By doing so, I can rewrite my story for the future, making wiser decisions and avoiding similar pitfalls.

Through these experiences, I've learned that failure doesn't define me as a leader; rather, it's how I handle and learn from those setbacks that matter.

LBB> In terms of leadership and openness, what’s your approach there? Do you think it’s important to be as transparent as possible in the service of being authentic? Or is there a value in being careful and considered?

Brenda> One of my toxic traits is oversharing. I've learned the hard way that not every piece of information needs to be disclosed, especially if it creates unnecessary worry or confusion among the team.

That said, however, I firmly believe in the value of authenticity and honesty. Being open about the challenges we face and discussing the realities of our business foster a culture of trust within the team. When team members see that I'm willing to share both successes and struggles, it encourages them to do the same. This openness creates a space where ideas and concerns can be expressed freely.

LBB> As you developed your leadership skills did you have a mentor, if so who were/are they and what have you learned? And on the flip side, do you mentor any aspiring leaders and how do you approach that relationship?

Brenda> ​​I’ve been lucky enough to have a few different mentors over the years, and their presence in my life has been transformative. Each one came into my life at different times, and each relationship was unique, teaching me valuable lessons along the way. 

One of the most significant realisations they offered me was the understanding that I am not alone in my leadership journey. They’ve all shared different experiences, showing me that the challenges I face have been encountered by others before, and this insight has brought comfort during tough times. Their guidance taught me that no matter how difficult a situation might seem, “this too shall pass.”

The common cliche is to “learn from your mistakes” but I’m actually a really big fan of learning from the mistakes of others. It’s something I preach to my staff and other young professionals who are coming up in the business. I tell them, “As much as you learn from me what to do, also learn what NOT to do because nobody is perfect and you will see me make mistakes. And then, remember them and don’t make them yourself.”

LBB> In continually changing market circumstances, how do you cope with the responsibility of leading a team through difficult waters?

Brenda> Running a company can be incredibly stressful. The weight of knowing that you're responsible for the livelihoods of your team is overwhelming, especially during hard times. I’d like to say that I have always handled it with grace, poise, meditation, and yoga, but the truth is, it hasn’t always been pretty. 

LBB> As a leader, what are some of the ways in which you’ve prioritised diversity and inclusion within your workforce?

Brenda> Being in the business of storytelling, we understand that diverse perspectives are essential for telling authentic and resonant stories. Different voices bring unique experiences and insights to the table, making our narratives more compelling and relatable.

As a woman-owned business, we champion diversity from the top down. We see it as a source of strength. It fuels innovation, enhances creativity, and ensures that our work is inclusive and representative.

We're committed to fostering an inclusive environment where every team member feels valued and empowered to contribute their unique perspective.

LBB> How important is your company culture to the success of your business? And how have you managed to keep it alive with increases in remote and hybrid working patterns?

Brenda> Company culture is a huge part of our success, especially in our industry. It's easy to fall prey to the pressure, particularly in times when we're expected to do more with less. 

We emphasise that the health and well-being of our team members and their families come before anything else. This principle is at the core of everything we do. We recognize that maintaining a positive work-life balance can be challenging, especially when client demands and deadlines intensify.

We've adopted a hybrid remote and in-office model. While it provides flexibility, we are always mindful of the importance of staying connected. We try to organise various activities to celebrate birthdays and other important milestones. I like to think these moments of togetherness, even if occasional, help reinforce our bond as a team and foster that sense of belonging and shared purpose that's crucial to our culture.