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Sex, Advertising and Demanding Clients

15/06/2018
Advertising Agency
Madrid, Spain
167
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INFLUENCER: Sex and media have a lot in common, finds LOLA MullenLowe Madrid's Lucas Rodriguez

I have a client that is OBSESSED with earned media. We'll call him Ernie.

He thinks it’s the easiest thing to achieve. He also has a thing for sex.

So, I dedicate this article to him, and to all you out there obsessed with earning media.

Let’s think about media in sex terms! Fun!

You can have owned sex, paid sex, or earned sex.

Owned sex can be fun. Because you know yourself better than anyone else. At least most of us do. You know how you want it, and when you want it, and above all, you can have it on demand. It’s the Netflix of sex. The downside is that sex is way more enjoyable when other people are involved. At least for most of us. Most people don’t really want to join in on our masturbatory fun, especially because it doesn’t involve them or their fun. Imagine a brand masturbating. No wonder engagement rates hardly ever break the 1% barrier. And still, brands remain obsessed with jerking off for people. Weird.

Let’s move on to paid sex. It can be a lot of fun, let’s not fool ourselves. But. Most of the time, the one paying is the only one enjoying it. And a lot of the time, you kind of regret it once it’s over. Because you know it was all fantasy. At least that’s what I’ve been told… Here’s the thing, the ones getting paid are not interested in you, or your life, or what you have to say, or how you like to fuck. So yes. You can pay your way through life, but it’s never going to be the real thing. You’re never going to make the other person feel special, and you’re certainly not going to feel special. You are never going to reap the rewards the same way as if you…

That’s right! Earned it!

Earning sex is hard as fuck. At least for most of us. That’s why many times people resort to owned sex or even paying for sex. And unlike the two other forms of sex, with earned sex, there is no secret formula. That thing we call chemistry, being in the right place at the right time, with everything going your way, with the person you’re aiming to charm to be in the right mood, you need to be on a good day… So many fucking variables. The planets need to be aligned for you to get laid! And what then? What if you want to keep that person? Maintain their interest? All those variables need to continue working for you time and time again.

So yes Ernie. My friend. And demanding client. You want your brand to earn media?

Make sure it starts behaving like you do every night you’re out trying to charm someone else. Make sure they don’t see you practicing owned sex too often, and also, make sure they don’t see you like that desperate dude that constantly resorts to paying their way into bed and then brags about it. All those elements can be smelled from miles away and will make earning your sex even more difficult.

And please, stop demanding that your earned media performs at the same rate your paid media does when you’re not willing to devote the same amount of resources to it.

You can be the king of self-pleasure, the king of the brothel, or the king of the bar. You just have to put your money where your mouth is. 

Your dear friend, and devoted planner.

Lucas



Lucas Rodriguez is senior planner at LOLA MullenLowe Madrid

Credits
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